My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
