these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
