Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
