whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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