don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
