trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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