I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
