where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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