moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I currently don't understand fingers.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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