turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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