spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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