What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
