Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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