john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
