Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
