As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She even gives head with a lisp.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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