The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Randomize
