I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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