Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
