She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You are the jesus of drinking
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
