I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
