Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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