Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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