How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
