I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm bleeding and have questions
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
