Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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