Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
