Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
even my farts smell like vagina
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
