I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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