Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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