Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
