So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
