you would pick up someone in the library
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
