So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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