Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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