that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
