He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
