Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
being pregnant is like rehab
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
