White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
