Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
