What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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