You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
