I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
