Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it's like iHOP with fire
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize