you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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