If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
