brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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