Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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