Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I love how my cats smell like pot.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
