Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
