That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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