batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
