the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
