so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
