Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Acid is not a monday night drug
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
