just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
