literally had 100 drinks last night.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
