Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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